I wish I could teleport
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
