He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
