rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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