That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
