My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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