Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
