just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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