Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Pooping to opera.
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