420 ftw
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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