He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
