I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
