Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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