I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Bring me that man meat
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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