real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
