And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
