its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
