I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need water and some morals
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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