life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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