Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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