my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The ass gains better be worth it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize