I'm really into asian looking animals
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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