I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
