I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize