I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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