we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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