too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
