she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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