my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
