The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
