we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
