yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
