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hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
