This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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