i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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