I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
