Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
