I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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