His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
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