New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
