I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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