My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize
