SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
