so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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