so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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