All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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