i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
