we're blogging at a bar
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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