My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
