Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
