You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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