I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
