I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
