Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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