In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We need a shit load of segways right now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize