did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
