i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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