it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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