dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
