Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All the doctor said was why
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
