i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
