Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize