I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
