dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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