He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
